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Bachin’ It (Hour 1)

I am semi-live blogging the Bach again this week. I am so excited for the dramz! Going to do this week’s episode in two installments to seem more like a legit live-blogger: hour 1 and hour 2. Here we go!

Observation 1: there is something weird about Vienna’s face. But that’s probably good because Jake wants to “take risks” by dating her.

Also, I was puzzled when she said that the craziest thing she had ever done in her life was zip-lining in Jamaica.  Is “zip-lining” what the kids are calling it these days? Hm.

Observation 2: I hate the phrase “to wear one’s heart on one’s sleeve.” Ick.  Also hate the phrase “Prince Charming” to describe non-cartoon men. Double ick.

Moving on… to Michelle.  Oh, Michelle… Michelle, Michelle, Michelle.  She is one who really wears her neuroses on her sleeve, isn’t she? She just can’t hide the crazy.  But I kinda like how she owns it, ya know? She’s like, empowered in her craziness. Refreshing.

Okay, the stand-up comedy group date. First, a question: how in God’s name did Jon Lovitz come to be involved with the Bachelor: On the Wings of Love? Oh, how the mighty have fallen! Second: watching these awful girls do comedy is so painful I can barely write about it. Actually, I am not going to write about it, because it’s making me feel super uncomfortable.

Okay, okay, I will just say one thing: Michelle’s performance was straight up Creepy with a capital C. *Shudder.*

Hmm, I kinda like Tenley in spite of myself.  I dunno, she seems nice.

Okay, we’re about an hour in now and I’m coming to an important realization: Jake is a kissing slut.  I actually think he kisses the women when he feels awkward and doesn’t know what else to do, especially when they’re all complaining to him about other people in the house. This strategy could backfire, Jake.

See you all in hour 2!

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