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B’ette 4, Part 2

We’re back! Ashley is going on a one-on-one date with Ames, the pretentious bastard from Yale. Of course, he’s already been to Phuket “several times” before, because he came to “climb the mountains” (all of them, I guess) and to go to cooking school, where he was the “only non-Thai student.” I’d be a pretty big hypocrite for making fun of him for going to Thai cooking school, since I also did that (see http://teffsinbrasil.blogspot.com/2009/08/therapy-elephants.html and photo evidence below), but I can still make fun of him for being a douche.

I’d also like to note that there were no Thai students in my class.

Ames and Ashley go sea kayaking into some caves, and Ames makes a forced comparison between navigating caves and navigating a relationship. Ugh. Then he says: “I’ve been to 70 countries, and this might be the most dramatic thing I’ve ever seen.” OMG, we get it! You went to Yale! You travel a lot! You’re spontaaaneous!!!

After kayaking, they sit on the beach and eat some weird looking thing (looks like a cross between a lady bug and an ice cream sandwich) and drink champagne and make stilted conversation. Ames asks Ashley what she is looking for in a man and she says she wants someone who’s devoted to his family, wife and kids. She asks him what he wants, and Ames says that he’s “really into spontaneity.” That sounds like a good combo: devoted family man who’s really spontaneous and unpredictable and flits off to different countries at the drop of a hat. I can really see these two kids making it!

At dinner, Ames makes me hate him even more by saying he has “white boards full of math” all over his apartment. Sure, that’s what all smart people have in their apartments. Just tons of MATH. And later in the dinner, he uses the word “indeed” as a sentence. This guy indeed sucks.

Ashley, who apparently is charmed by his “spontaneity,” gives him a rose. Ames says, “Ashley and I didn’t kiss tonight, but we did something much more intimate than kiss, we talked about serious things.” Oh, Ames. Now I just feel sorry for you.

Back at the cocktail party, Ashley is on a mission to ask the guys “serious questions” to try to suss out if anyone else is going to hurt her. We know that Ashley is awesome at reading people, so this should go really well. First, she corners West and asks him if he’s over his Dead Wife. He says yes but of course we don’t believe him. Then she asks Lucas if he’s over his divorce, and he goes on and on about how “awesome” his ex-wife was, even though they “fell out of love.”  Then he says he doesn’t give up on “anything, ever.” Except for the one thing, I guess.

Blake then does some cornering of his own, telling Ryan how annoying he is and how all the other guys hate him. Ryan’s weird reaction demonstrates exactly how annoying he is. He says, grinning maniacally, “sorry I’m in Thailand and I’m freakin’ happy.” Shortly after this, Ashley asks Ryan if he’s always so happy, and he says in sort of an angry voice, “I’m bursting with a lot of love in my chest.” I’m sorry, but that’s cult leader talk. Ashley’s conclusion? Ryan can “really bring out the best” in her. Of course.

Before the rose ceremony, Ashley has a chat with Chris Harrison, who asks her if she’s over Bentley. She says that she is, in fact, still hung up on him and that her “woman’s intuition” tells her that there’s something more there. Hey, women? Can we somehow get her intuition revoked?

Side note: Chris Harrison is such a weasel! He lets Ashley talk on and on about Bentley and their “connection” and blah blah blah, while the whole time he knows all the crap Bentley talked about Ashley on camera. And he doesn’t say one word to Ashley to let her save some shred of face. Disappointing, Chris Harrison!

At the rose ceremony, another rose is added to the pile, which means only one guy will go home, instead of two.  That one guy is going to feel doubly horrible when he goes home…. and it’s West. I guess Ashley didn’t believe him about being over the Dead Wife, either. West has a super dramatic exit with super dramatic string music. In the limo, though, West seems pretty unfazed. Not just about leaving the show, but also about the Dead Wife thing. Huh!

Seriously can’t wait for next week, when Ashley reunites with Bentley, since she’s still not over him. Uggghhh!

See you all then!

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