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Reality round-up!

I’ve been feeling uninspired since the Bachelor sputtered to its predictable finale, and haven’t felt much animus to write about reality TV while I hang, listless, in the limbo that exists between the end of the Bachelor and the beginning of the Bachelorette.  Plus, I’ve been caught up in some genuinely compelling non-reality TV (new seasons of Mad Men, Game of Thrones, and Luther, plus old seasons of Battlestar Galactica, which I still haven’t completely warmed to (too many space battles) but am giving a shot), so there hasn’t been much time in my agenda for reality TV.  But I thought I’d take a moment to share some thoughts on a few of my perennial favorites and a couple of new offerings on the reality market, just to keep some skin in the game.

  1. Real Housewives of Orange County:  I don’t know why, but I can’t get enough of these awful women and their boob-popping, bedazzled wardrobes.  Vicky, the indomitable hold-out from the very first season, is still kicking around, fluctuating between screaming rages and manic bursts of “woo-hoo”-ing.  I hate her but I’d be sad if she left, you know?  Plus, Vicky, as batshit crazy as she is, is a beacon of Common Sense in the middle of the crazy, eye-scratching, martini-swilling mess that is RHOOC.  And Lord knows I love me some Brianna, and I’m so glad she’s cancer-free.  Meanwhile, the others (Alexis, Gretchen, Tamra, the new one) are universally terrible, including the new one, who puts on airs.  If there’s one thing we do not abide in Orange County, it is people who put on airs.  And poor, stupid Alexis, who insists on calling what she does on TV “news anchoring,” continues to straddle the line of pathetic and infuriating, while creepy, misogynistic Jim hovers in the background, making sure that Alexis isn’t getting any new-fangled ideas about women’s lib while on the news beat.  In a nutshell: I will never stop watching this show.
  2. Shahs of Sunset: This is a new element thrown in the Bravo mix and I really want to like it, because I instinctively like the sound of a group of self-indulgent, L.A.-based Persians getting into cat-fights, but I can’t really warm up to it fully.  I think part of it is that the Persian element is sort of a footnote to the larger point of the show, and, as it turns out, there is no larger point to the show.  The most exciting thing that’s happened recently is that two of the characters, the flamboyant, oddly mustached Reza and his chubby gal pal M.J., got his-and-hers colonics.  Stop the presses.
  3. My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding:  This gem of a show recently came back to TLC and my, it is fascinating.  The show, as its title suggests, focuses on gypsy/traveler weddings in the UK and all of the crazy dresses, inappropriate dancing, and trailer-cleaning that goes along with them.  I find the interactions between gypsies and non-gypsies (“Gorchers”) to be especially interesting, since each group tends to see the other group as unseemly, immoral, and declasse.  Turns out, they’re usually both right.
  4. Say Yes to the Dress and other wedding shows: Seeing as I’m getting hitched in less than a month, and have made it a whole year without screaming at a bridesmaid or purchasing a tiara, I find it fun to live vicariously through the awful brides that populate shows like Say Yes to the Dress (both regular and “Big Bliss” versions), Bridezillas, Rich Bride Poor Bride, and My Fair Wedding with David Tutera.  In fact, I may or may not have an ongoing fantasy involving David Tutera sweeping into town and taking me on an elaborate shopping trip in which he tsk-tsks disapprovingly at my modest venue before revealing that I will actually be getting married in Westminster Abbey by the Bishop of Canterbury and there will be choirboys and mini-foods and fancy hats at the reception!!! This fantasy is a heady mix of The Royal Wedding + David Tutera.  It’s dangerous stuff.  Anyway. These wedding shows are great and I suspect I’ll continue to enjoy them post-May 12 (my wedding).

That’s about all I have to say about reality TV at the moment. Are there any shows I should be adding to my already packed DVR?

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