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Teen Mom: Regression

The theme of this week’s Teen Mom is backsliding. How uplifting.


Farrah is in love, you guys! She’s really ready to get serious with this guy who she’s gone on two dates with.  What’s his name again? Anyway, he’s gonna be Sophia’s new daddy! Farrah tells Sophia that she “really likes” whats-his-name because he understands “responsibility” and is cute, and then asks Sophia if she wants to meet the guy. To her credit, Sophia, who is two-years-old and strapped into a car-seat, says no.

Also, guys, I’m really concerned that Sophia is going to grow up thinking that people are supposed to talk like Farrah and Deborah talk to her, i.e., in a horrifying, grating baby voice with weird pronunciations of normal words.  Someone needs to talk to this child in a normal voice, but WHO?

Meanwhile, Farrah goes about ignoring Sophia’s discomfort with meeting this random dude, and arranges a “dinner date” for the three of them.  When Sophia throws a mild temper tantrum before said dinner date, Farrah says in a nasty voice, “Who are you right now?” I’m not judging, but I’m pretty sure Farrah is the worst mom ever.

My favorite line is when Farrah tells Sophia, “I’m trying to be nice and like, let you be a toddler, but you’re acting like you can’t even handle that.”

When the stupid man friend (whose name is Daniel, apparently) finally meets Sophia, he says, “What’s up?” Then they all pack into Farrah’s car and Farrah asks Daniel if he can handle having a child, meaning her child, because the third date is definitely the right time to be talking about this.  I have to assume that Daniel is in this either for sex or for TV exposure. Or both.  Because he can’t be in it for Farrah’s personality, or her two-year-old.  He just can’t.

At the end of the date, Farrah pushes her already questionable boundaries further by asking Daniel to come back to her apartment and Skype with her family.  He seems reluctant but, as we know, Farrah doesn’t take no for an answer, and Daniel is shoe-horned into awkwardly Skyping with Deborah and Michael.  Don’t say you weren’t warned, Daniel.


Macy and her stupid boyfriend, who looks like human Spongebob Squarepants, except less cheerful, want to buy a house.  This makes sense! Even though neither of them seem to have jobs or any money! This reminds me of the Louie episode (“Moving”) where Louie wants to buy a house for $17 million and has $3,000 in his bank account.  Shoot for the stars, guys.


We find out that Tyler’s no-good dad, Butch, is back to his old tricks and has landed back in jail because he beat up Catelyn’s mom. UGH.

[Side note: I want to go to the Claire’s where Catelyn works and buy so many feathered earrings and rhinestone jeggings from her!]

Anyway, Catelyn’s sad sack mom tells Catelyn in great detail about how Butch beat her up and it’s pretty depressing. It sucks that poor Catelyn and Tyler have to be the parents to their parents.  Catelyn says stuff to her mom like “your relationship with Butch is a very toxic relationship. He enables you, you enable him.” And her mom says, “But I love him.”   My opinion? Catelyn’s mom needs to pull her head out of her butt and get scary Butch out of her life and away from her young son who still lives with her.  Watching these scenes between Catelyn and her mom are seriously heartbreaking. It gets even worse when Tyler starts crying talking about how he’s afraid his dad is going to drink and drug himself to death.

Regular readers will know that  Tyler and Catelyn are the only people on this show whose story I care about and who I genuinely root for. These two are coming from a genuinely shitty situation and making the best of it.  They’ve been forced to be mature beyond their years and they never seem bitter or hopeless.  I really, really pull for them and they’re the reason I keep tuning into this show.  All of these other a-holes, especially Farrah? I feel sorry for their kids but don’t feel sorry for them at all, because they’re awful.  Just awful.


Speaking of which, Amber sucks. That is all.


Trackbacks & Pingbacks


  1. * tiffany says:

    I love that show i watch that show everytime whrn i get a change.

    | Reply Posted 5 years, 2 months ago

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