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Meet my millionaires!

Millionaire Matchmaker is back, peeps!  This is one of my all-time favorite Bravo shows, so I am psyched for its return.

I am watching the season premiere (a little late) right now and loving it. Here’s the deal: this week, Patti is setting up two best friends, Omar and Nick, both of whom seem pretty immature and insecure, but one charmingly so (Nick) and the other not so charmingly so (Omar). One of the main clues that they both have some growing up to do: the awkward, white-boy rapper accents that they’re affecting. Um, painful.  Let me put it this way: the way they talk makes Eminem look authentic. These guys are like, I don’t know, Justin Timberlake circa 1999. Actually, does Justin Timberlake still talk like that? I haven’t actually heard him speak in 10 years or so, so I’m hoping it was just an unfortunate phase that all young boy-banders must pass through, ike a (second) bar mitzvah.

Anyway, this guy Omar, who I’ve decided I don’t like, makes his date, who was super cute and seemed like a good sport, haul junk with him for their first date, since he owns a junk-hauling business. Gross. She handled it way better than I would have, I think. I mean come on, what a jerk. I can’t believe he made this cute girl who was all dolled up in heels and pearls load junk onto a truck with him in order to test her to make sure she wasn’t just dating him for his money (plus, fatal flaw in Omar’s plan: how does making a chick haul junk for one date prove that she’s not a gold-digger, anyway?). She turned kinda bitchy at dinner, though, which I thought was justified. He deserved to be iced out after that ridiculousness.

Nick, meanwhile, took out a more “mature” woman, Dakota, and had a nice, romantic date.  It was cute.  She’s obviously too old for him, but I kinda dig it anyway.

K, that’s about it for Millionaire this week. Can’t wait until next week. I especially love how this season promises lots of over-the-top Pattiness. She has clearly become a total monster now that she’s engaged, which I think only adds to her appeal.  More to come…